


Bestseller

by vanillafluffy



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Potty Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillafluffy/pseuds/vanillafluffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark's been asked the same question so many times, he may just write a book.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bestseller

**Author's Note:**

> From a prompt: "Not again."

He's enjoying lunch in the food court at the mall. The novelty of having a selection of food that isn't potatoes is still enough to make a hot dog with sauerkraut a delicacy. He's just swallowed a gulp of cold, sweet root beer, when he's approached by someone who's recognized him. 

"Hi, you're Mark Watney, aren't you?"

She's young and cute. Mark puts down the frankfurter and smiles at her. "That's what my mom says."

"There's something I was wondering about...."

 _Not again._

It's always the same question: How do you go potty in space? Sometimes he thinks he's answered the question more times than he's pissed and shat in his entire lifetime, let alone in space. He's developed an answer that encompasses everything: Number One and Number Two, on Mars, on _Hermes_ , in and out of an EVA suit...he has seriously considered having it printed up as a book ('The Scoop on Poop'--he imagines it illustrated in the style of the Dr. Seuss books he had when he was little. All he has to do is make it rhyme.). He rattles it off and grins at the young woman, who blinks. 

"O...kay." she says slowly. "Thanks for sharing. I just wanted to know if you read a lot of science fiction growing up."

...


End file.
